10 Things No One Tells You About Traveling Alone

You’ve probably bumped into that solo traveler by now. The confident one that (definitely) has told you to just go for it; the one that told you traveling alone will change you forever. You’ve probably also heard that you’ll learn to love yourself, to let go, and that you’ll meet millions of people along the way. It’s all true; but it’s not all rainbows and sunshine. Here are 10 things that they never told you.

1. You can’t outrun responsibility

So you want to give this traveling alone a shot. You want to pack up your bags and run to the airport. There’s just one problem; no matter how far you go, you’ll never be able to outrun your problems and responsibilities. They’ll be around when you get back and if you don’t have a plan, it could turn very ugly. Think about what you’re giving up to travel. Make sure you keep doors open for yourself when you get back.

2. It’s not everyone’s cup of coffee

Traveling costs money. Sure you can do it in less but if you’re dreaming of five-star luxury resorts or anything like that. It’s not going to happen. Which is why you need to be sure you really really want to. You will have to struggle, take local buses, eat cheap, do your own laundry, among a billion other things. So if you’re the type of person that won’t wear the same shirt twice, or needs a cup of customized Starbucks coffee every morning; think again.

3. You can fall sick

You’re human. As much as it sucks- you can fall sick and chances are you will. Unfortunately there will no one to take care of you. Be prepared, carry medicines, and do some research on what basic remedies are. You will have to take care of yourself.

4. You need to make an effort to make friends.

Traveling alone can be lonely but it doesn’t have to be. You will need to become comfortable with walking up and introducing yourself to random people. Some will come up to, most will not. Be prepared to walk up and introduce yourself. For people to come to you, you will need to be able to go to them first.

5.  You will not always meet the best people.

Be prepared to do things on your own and be comfortable with yourself. While you will definitely meet amazing people and make some lifelong friends but you will also meet some unpleasant people. You simply have to know when to stay away and how to be okay with doing things completely on your own.

6. Keep up with your friends

After you’ve traveled you will have to come home. Don’t simply cut yourself off otherwise you may have a hard time getting back in touch. Definitely don’t be on your phone all the time and miss out on the experience of traveling but make the occasional two minute call once in a while when you remember someone.

7. Living healthy is really important

Drinking every night and partying is unrealistic, overrated, and expensive. It will take a toll on you. While you might want to go out and drink the night away with the friends you just made, you will make much better memories if you rest well, wake up early, eat breakfast, and go exploring with them instead. Build healthy habits and eat as clean as you can. It will go a long way in making you feel more alive.

8. Home will never be the same

You have people that you think are your best friends for life. You may feel this will never change but people will move on while you’re away. Sure you’ll keep in touch, but they have a life to live as well. Don’t be surprised if you come back and everything is different. It’s supposed to be.

9. Your old social circle won’t be enough anymore

Traveling alone makes you truly independent. You learn to think for yourself and solve problems. You will learn to make friends on the spot and not need your social circle. The comfort zone you have at home will no longer be as fulfilling. Yes, you will come to appreciate it more but you will   no longer depend on it.

10. No one really cares

You’ve experienced the weirdest and most amazing things. You’ve got a whole new perspective on life. Guess who cares? No one. Nobody really cares about where you’ve been, what you’ve done, or what you’ve seen. If they ask, don’t start rambling on about every little detail. Learn how to keep it short and sweet. Instead focus on finding out what you missed.

This post is not meant to dishearten you or dissuade you from traveling alone. Each experience is unique. Most of the negative consequences of travel can be avoided if you are aware of their existence. If you are reading this, you might be thinking about leaving or might already be traveling, either way, I wish you the very best. I hope it’s amazing and I want you to remember that every cloud has a silver lining. If you’re stuck in something you don’t like, resist the urge to be pessimistic and look for that silver lining. There’s nothing like a dose of optimism to keep you going!

How To Make The World A Larger Place

When I was a little child, I remember the world being this enormous place. America, much like the fairytales I read, was a place ‘far, far, away’. 

As I grew older, I stopped playing with toy cars and started driving real ones. Instead of managing toy train signals, I sat and waited in a real train. Suddenly, 300 miles became an hour and a half; 3500 miles became seven hours.

Fortunate and sheltered, I got to see the world. By the time I was 20, I had been to more countries than years I’d been alive. At some point, the pretty cities in Scandinavia seemed to look the same and my memories of individual places blurred together.

I made it to the land far, far, away and found that the world had become a much smaller place. You could go around the word in less than 80 hours, let alone days. The borders were blurred and you could eat Chinese food without going to China. Larger cities were simply full of people from smaller cities scattered everywhere.

That’s not authentic you argue. You’ve packed your bags and were ready to go. I had too. I went around and became a tourist. Young and naïve I stumbled across places, falling into tourist traps, capturing artsy photographs, and making mistakes. In short, I basically learned the 10 Things No One Tells You About Traveling Alone the hard way.

The only problem was that this habit was desperately hurting me financially and was becoming less and less fulfilling. The truth is that after a while, it gets boring. I would wander new places, try new foods, but on that bus/train/plane ride I would find myself gazing into the distance wondering what I was doing.

So it was back to the drawing board. Instead of aimlessly traveling, I started choosing specific things I hoped to achieve at each place. That’s what brought me to volunteering. By volunteering I don’t just mean working towards a social cause, although I will get to that. But before I go there I want to talk about you. Not everyone wants or needs to save the world and even by volunteering, you probably won’t. And it’s totally okay to be selfish. There are plenty of places to volunteer in return for compensation in housing/food, etc. You can choose the kind of work you wish to do depending on the amount of time you have.

Let’s say you want to learn how to surf (like I did), you could go on a regular vacation, pay approximately $50 for a surf lesson. That would buy you some time with the instructor after which you would try catching the waves for as long as they let you. Or, you could volunteer at a surf school, and wake up every morning – go surfing with the professionals and learn without having to bear the repeated costs of renting the board or paying for extra lessons.

Let’s come back to more serious volunteering however. Before you consider this – you need to decide if you’re really ready for it. I only say this, because I know first hand that it’s not easy and it’s not a joke. When you volunteer to help other people, you’re stepping into something much bigger than yourself. While working, you may come to realize that while this is bigger than you, you might begin to feel like a useless volunteer. This realization can lead to a loss of dedication and even borderline depression. It’s at this point that you need to realize the value of the small, yet meaningful impacts that you’re able to make. In the words of Mother Teresa:

“If you can’t feed a hundred people, then feed just one.”

Through my high school years and even in college, I volunteered at a number of charities and for a number of organizations. I noticed that if you aren’t dedicated enough towards the project, it’s going to affect the entire team. Furthermore the project might not get completed properly or might not get completed at all. Effectively it means you’ll have achieved nothing other than wasting your own time. This is why it’s imperative that you understand the grassroots of volunteering. Before you begin volunteering, there are some things you’ll need to check off from your list:

1) Know your limitations

You need to make sure that you really understand the cause you’re hoping to help with and that you’re knowledgeable enough about it. Confidence and earnestness does not equal competence. With that said, don’t be disheartened. There are million things you can learn and use to make a difference even in a short period of time.

2) Figure out what kind of volunteering you are best suited for

As mentioned before, there are different kinds of volunteering. If you’re choosing to work for others, what do you want to do? Do you want to teach? Do you want to help build a school? Do you want to help spread awareness on drug abuse? There are so many options, but you need to decide what you’re most passionate about. Write it down.

3) Find the right organization – know who you’re working for

Once you’ve found what you want to do, find the right organization. This is extremely important because you want to know what your efforts are going towards. You will want to find out where the money goes, what the main goals are, what other organizations is the one your looking at associated with; It’s important to see that all the core values are consisted. Here’s a more comprehensive list 

4) Set goals for yourself

By now you must have realized that there’s a lot of research and planning that comes before volunteering. It helps to make a solid timeline and give yourself enough time to research, apply, and prepare to volunteer. However, you will also want to know what happens once you’re done volunteering and what you’ve achieved. Set that goal and make sure that the organization follows up on the project that you helped out with even after you’re done.

This seems like a task, and it is for good reason. So why should you do it?

Because there is something special about making a difference- no matter how big or small. Integrating yourself into a local culture and projects means you get to interact with locals more deeply. When you do this, you stop seeing the world superficially and realize that there’s so much more. I have found that the world becomes a much larger place as you learn to see the hopes and dreams of those in different places. You find the essence of a place in its roots, not in its commercialized make up.

Why Traveling Alone Is Suicide

Perhaps one of my all time favorite pieces of writing is this particular excerpt from ‘Reading Lolita in Tehran’ by Azar Nafisi. It goes:

“You get a strange feeling when you’re about to leave a place, I told him, like you’ll not only miss the people you love but you’ll miss the person you are now at this time and this place, because you’ll never be this way ever again.”

I had received the book as a gift from my mother before I came to college, but it’d been lying on the mantle piece since. Between classes, work, and my social life I’d never gotten a chance to pick it up.

Near the end of my sophomore year, I went to Greece for six months and it was only when I got back that I found it where I’d left it. After dusting the book, I sat down and read it without looking up.

Nothing had changed, yet everything had. As contradictory as it sounds, it’s the only accurate way to describe how I felt. I’ve found, in my experience at least, that travel fundamentally changes the way you think. When you first come to a new place alone, you are no longer surrounded by people who think the same way as you, have the same mannerisms as you, or understand the world the same way as you. You can no longer take those things for granted because they don’t exist. This brings you to face the biases that you hold and makes you drop them so that you can connect with the people around you. In turn, this affects the way you see and perceive the world around you. Once you become aware of your biases, you will find it becomes nearly impossible to hold them.

If you’re getting ready to travel alone you should know that you’re committing suicide. I know you’re not jumping off a cliff (just yet) and your heart isn’t flatlining, but you’re taking the first step to saying goodbye to who you are.

Here’s what happened to me. Before I ever I left, I felt obligated to do a number of things I really didn’t want to. Everything seemed important in it’s own way. Sometimes I went out with my friends, not because I really wanted to but because I felt obligated to. I had to respond to all those texts, to say yes to all those plans. I’d hang out with people I wasn’t even sure I liked. Sometimes I didn’t do things I wanted to because I didn’t have someone to do them with. That changed.

I didn’t have a eureka moment or a sudden realization as to what the important things in my life were. Perhaps C.S Lewis said it best:

“Isn’t it funny that day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different.”

When on my own I learnt to stop worrying. Without having my circle of friends to share a drink with and chat with at the bar, I learnt how to smile and walk up to a stranger. Stepping out of your comfort zone makes you realize what you’ve been missing out on. While it comes with a lot of anxiety and fear in the beginning, it soon turns to “You know what..f*ck it, what do I even have to lose?” And that my friend, is what I’ve found to be the baby steps of courage.

Traveling alone gives you more than just courage, it makes you realize what experiences really matter to you. Together it means you’ll actually follow your heart instead of making excuses.

Above and beyond everything else, I began to believe that whatever happens, happens for the best. In other words it taught me patience. Missing my flight from Lisbon taught me that panicking and freaking out does little good. I learned to accept things the way they are and to look for the silver lining. A day later that missed flight, through cause and effect, introduced me to one of my now best friends, got me a job, and landed me in Madrid for an extra day.

There a plethora of other experiences that played a role in molding me, often in ways I’m still discovering. Everyone I’ve met along the way has learnt something new about themselves which is why I can’t tell you how you’re going to change. All I can tell you is that Azar Nafisi is right, you’ll never be this way ever again.